there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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