you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize