Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There r osticjed everywhere
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
