I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
