Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it because I queefed?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
