the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize