and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize