Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
