Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
