I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
