i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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