me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize