the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
