YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
