Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
