So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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