I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
