its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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