I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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