Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
