remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They took my balls.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
