from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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