Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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