nut hugger
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
