that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize