singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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