you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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