dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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