Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so much tequila, so little girl.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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