What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
