There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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