I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
