wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
