Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
