just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
