She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
