One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
