i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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