there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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