need another drink. this is the easiest way
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
