Michael Bay diarrhea
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize