Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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