i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
