I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
