do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize