the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
