It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
