You just made me feel so damn special
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
