4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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