I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
