So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
