Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
