you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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