I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
