My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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