I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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