I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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