so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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