I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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