i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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