everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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