my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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