life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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