he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize